Dad makes 11-year-old daughter cry after making her sacrifice her character during a D&D session, wife admonishes him for going too far: 'She is mad I put my daughter through this'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 10, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Tabletop RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons aren't just about rolling some dice and pretending to slay monsters; they're about storytelling, roleplaying, and bringing characters to life. I've only played a handful of times for a single campaign, but even I got attached to the grumpy old wizard character I created; I even went as far as to draw some fan art of him and the rest of my crew on our quest. That was the result of just a few sessions. I can't imagine how attached I'd be if I had been playing the same character for years.

One dad has been weaving a three-year long campaign for his 11-year-old daughter. The elaborate adventure includes a ragtag party of thieves-turned-heroes faving off against dark gods and dangerous hags, and for this young girl, the story feels just as real as any book or movie. But during a recent session, the dad puts the daughter's character in a devastating moral dilemma that leaves her sobbing at the table. Even though the story ends up taking a triumphant turn, his wife is furious that he let his daughter go through such heavy emotions. So, he takes to the internet for judgement: did he push his daughter too far, or was it a powerful moment of storytelling that she'll never forget?

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  • 01

    AITA. I made my daughter (11), cry during D&D. Even though everything turned out OK, my wife is still mad

    Twelve dice on a table
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Background: I have been running a 3 yr D&D game for my daughter (11). I play all other characters including her party
    via Reddit
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    members of 5: started out their adventure as petty thieves but are now heroes, all with their own character growth over time. Her character learned early that her
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  • 04
    character was the target of a Dark God that had severed her soul from her body (important context).
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  • 05
    She and her band of reformed heroes has spent many sessions thwarting a Hag. Finally, the hag kidnaps a young girl who is friends with the party.
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    A hand holding three dice
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    We start our D&D session last night and my wife is present in the room: I narrate the events in her game; The party finds what
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  • 08
    they think is the hag lair and is prepared for an epic fight to save the child, only to find the lair abandoned with the girl in a magical prison and a letter from
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  • 09
    the hag. The letter indicates that the magical trap will soon kill the girl and that she (My daughter's character) must "choose her
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  • 10
    sorrow". The girl will be freed on the condition that 2 of her companions are sacrificed or her life alone to be sacrificed.
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  • 11
    They attempt a variety of methods to try to break the trap. Her companions range from efforts to break it, to resignation
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  • 12
    to be the one to sacrifice. These are characters I have been playing for my daughter for years and she has grown to love them.
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  • 13
    My daughter starts quietly sobbing as she realizes there isnt anything her character can do. My wife sees and hears all of this.
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    A young girl crying next to a window
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    I let her (11) feel the range of emotions as she is in what seems to be an impossible situation.
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  • 16
    I tell her that while she does have companions that said they were willing, she could decide that this is where her character's story ends in a heroic sacrifice.
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  • 17
    She starts sobbing. This would mean a permanent end to a 3yr story. I ask her if she wants to take a break to think. She nods and goes to her room.
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  • 18
    My wife then, clearly upset, tells me that I should not have done this and to present her with a solution that doesn't have consequences. I didn't want to cheapen the gravity of the story.
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  • 19
    I go to my daughter's room and ask how she is. Tearfully she says she knows what she will do.
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  • 20
    We start the game again and she announces in character that she couldnt live with herself if she let her friends di, and touches the hag device that will kill her.
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  • 21
    I change the music to an ethereal soundtrack and narrate her seeing herself as if outside her body and the sacrifice she was willing to make restores her
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  • 22
    shattered soul with such magnitude and force that it breaks the Hag's trap and that her character felt an overwhelming sense of wholeness as her soul heals with this act of sacrifice.
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    A dad comforts his upset daughter
    via fizkes from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    I see my daughters visible shock, relief and then joy as I narrate the captured girl released and her own life and soul intact having broke the Hag's magic.
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  • 25
    She jumps from her chair and hugs me sobbing Im crying too. Im not sure my wife has forgiven me though. She is really mad I put our daughter through this.
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  • I'm torn here… If the dad was reading her Harry Potter, should he just skip over the scene where he sacrifices himself in the 7th book? What about when Gandalf does the same in LOTR?

  • 26
    Playful_Trouble2102 My biggest issue is I wouldn't set a trap for my players that there wasn't a way to beat, especially if it ended in a PC death, even a fakeout one. i won't call you the feels a little edgy. but it
    via u/Playful_Trouble2102
  • 27
    YTA Evinshir Even if this wasn't about an 11yo, this is the worst kind of DMing because you're forcing a tone that you want rather than what your players want.
    via u/Evinshir
  • 28
    If as a DM you see your players are getting genuinely upset, the smart thing to do is change tact to keep the game going.
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  • 29
    Your daughter was getting distressed and you were forcing a cruel decision onto her shoulders that she clearly wasn't ready to deal with.
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  • 30
    You need to apologize to her, and give some thought as to why uou couldn't change direction so that she would continue to enjoy the game. From her perspective you betrayed the social contract that your game was built on.
    via u/Evinshir
  • 31
    AintAintAWOrd That is a darker theme that would likely be rated pg-13 if it were in a movie. And anything in a 3-yr campaign carries much more impact than a movie. Imo, the theme is too mature for an 11 yo. Maybe a 14 yo would be ready for it. Soft YTA.
    via u/AintAintAWOrd
  • 32
    Avarenda Look... I see what you were trying to do. I would even argue that you were successful in teaching your daughter a valuable life lesson. It was a wonderful bit of storytelling that im sure she will remember for years to come. Now. Having said that.
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  • 33
    You made your daughter cry. You intentionally inflicted emotional pain on her for a narrative arc. You. You did that. To your daughter, who i assume you love. D&D is supposed to be about having a fun narrative experience with friends and family. Key word FUN.
    via u/Avarenda
  • 34
    Do you think she was having fun when she ran to her room crying? You sound like a great DM, but I don't know if in this instance you were a great father. For that, and that alone, YTA
    via u/Avarenda

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nerds married with children fatherhood dnd board games parenting dad dungeons & dragons daughter raising kids mom parents dungeons and dragons
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